There’s this popular saying that girls naturally have beef for each other or better put are usually competitive and jealous of themselves. And, this still baffles me because it’s totally not normal. A few years ago, I was listening to my role model Tosin Bucknor on the radio, she’s late now( may her beautiful soul rest on) on her morning show. And it was the top nine moments segment when Supermind comes and gives us nine tips and the likes. And at one point she made a statement that women naturally dislike each other and try to tear and bring each other down. And I remember thinking how strange and totally untrue it was. Tosin Bucknor went on to disagree with her stating that the women she knew make each other better, build each other and all. That rebuttal totally made me love her the more.

You see, while growing up I always wondered why a fellow lady would see me and just dislike me instantly and even give me the bad eye. And I’ve been with female friends and even relatives who see another woman and just instantly start criticizing her stature and dressing. One time, this lady close to me, saw a girl and was like “look at this one, see how skinny she is, why is she even walking like that?” and then went on to hiss. I was startled and asked if she knew the girl and she said no and I had to correct her about how it wasn’t nice and all. Now, this was someone she didn’t even know not to talk of someone she knows.
Lady A sees Lady B well dressed but instead of genuinely appreciating her goes on to insult and even comment about how cheap her cloth or jewelry looks, that’s not cool.

Growing up still and watching soap operas, mostly Nigerian. When a wife or girlfriend catches her spouse or boyfriend cheating with another woman. She goes to attack the woman and not the cheating husband or boyfriend. Now I sometimes imagine if it were to be me( not that it’ll ever be) I’ll go for the cheating husband/boyfriend and deal with him. I saw a movie some time ago titled “The other woman” where the husband was cheating on his wife and she found out. She didn’t confront him but located the mistresses, yeah mistresses, ganged up with them and they dealt with the cheating bastard. Now that’s more like it! This movie reminds me of a saying “hell hath no fury than a woman scorned” which I’m going to rephrase, ” hell hath no further than women scorned who then join forces together”

What do you even gain as a lady beefing and hating each other? Guys even take advantage of this and pit women against each other. You see her dressed well, you like it instead of giving her the bad eye, compliment her genuinely.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. We need to stop looking for opportunities to put each other down, it is a sign of insecurity. You know, we are strong and two or more heads are way better than one. Yes to girl power! Yes to building each other up and inspiring each other!

Yours truly,

Your petite sweetheart!